His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
