So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
