Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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