Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize