that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
