They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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