Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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