I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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