She announced her abortion via fbk
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
