The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
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