just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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