Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
