GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
