why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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