If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
