There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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