DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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