if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize