i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
