he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
