was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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