I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
