I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
