pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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