So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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