I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
