so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
