Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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