from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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