lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
