spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
