Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
