i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I need to calm my uterus...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize