Just mADE A PArabola og urine
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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