are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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