I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize