I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Farmville is her only friend.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
