I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
