You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
