I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
