Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
