You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize