my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She needs sedatives and a leash
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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