Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
there was a trapeze. enough said
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
