I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
