All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
