We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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