I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Randomize