Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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