Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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