Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
