When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
