In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
