I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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