i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So many bounce houses so little time
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
