oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
