remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
